There are times when no court would ever convict me, if I simply gnawed FatBoy to death while he slept. This is inhumane, no matter how you slice it.

I think I figured out why FatBoy likes the little dogs better than me; they've learned how to do something called "purr". Apparently it involves rubbing up against something (either a cardboard box, or furniture) and making a low, rumblng sound. Maybe they're hungry? FatBoy keeps their food bowls out of my reach, so I can't tell if they're out of food. And no, they are NOT welcome to eat MY food (which is kept at ground level) ... I'm not much into sharing food. It's okay to share the couch .. they can even touch my butt if they want, but I draw the line when it comes to chow.

Still, I must learn the secrets of this "purr" thing.

I don't think it's related to Purrina (the name on the bags of food) but I'm not yet sure what to make of it.

Meanwhile, I have a new hobby, but FatBoy doesn't know it yet. I'm learning to install "Puppy Linux", which would be easier if I had opposable thumbs. More on this later ...

I'm bummed. Yesterday, I got to see Dr. Freeze and today, the two small dogs (with the long tails) had their turn.

Seems that FatBoy was waiting for a conference call to begin, and noticed that both of their rabies vaccinations expired today. I guess those vaccines are very precise, and if he'd waited until just after midnight, they might've contracted rabies and come looking to bite ME!

Anyway, he did that over his lunch break today, so now I can sleep easier. Whew! That was a close call. Guess I should figure out how to complain about FatBoy to the SPCA of Texas.

FatBoy didn't give me more than 30 seconds to prep myself, but I got to see my Bestest Friend In The Whole World Today: Doctor Vet!

Going there only twice a year doesn't give me a lot of time to talk to my friend. I'd like to explain my insecurities and feeling of inadequacy, but FatBoy's usually concerned with making sure Dr. Vet sticks enough needles in me, and pours stuff up my nose, that I can't concentrate.

Quibble: even though I'm fur-lined, Dr. Vet's stethoscope always seems on the cold side. I wonder if he stores it in that mini-fridge in between appointments?

While I was there today, I saw One Of My People, although I suspect she's a different race. She was a Chocolate Lab, and since her skin color's different from mine, I must find a way to hate her appropriately. I tried barking and screeching and even attempted to dislocate FatBoy's arm, but nothing worked .. I couldn't get to her! I must practice.

Since FatBoy didn't give me time to prepare (I could've used a Furmination) I wasn't ready to provide The Sample (you know -- stool) that Dr. Vet seems to adore. But, as soon as I got home, I went into the backyard and provided the most enormous, fragrant sample I could squeeze out. FatBoy seemed very pleased, even gathering a bit into a plastic bag. I'm guessing he wanted it for his collection.

There are times when it's really nice not having a brain.

My best friend Miles was here the past several weeks, and he left Friday afternoon. While he was here, I had a great time running and jumping with him, not to mention sleeping next to him at night, butts touching.

Now that he's gone, well, I don't miss him (because I have no brain). I didn't wander through the house and backyard looking for him. As long as my food dish is full when I'm hungry, and my water dish is full when I'm thirsty, I'm a happy camper.

Now, it's time for a nap.

Miles left a few weeks ago, but FatBoy told me (this morning) that he's returning tomorrow for a longer visit.

Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy!!

Why is it that when Miles comes to visit, he has to sleep with his butt cheek touching mine?

I'm thinking of putting my info up on Dogster

"Dog photo web pages. Dog breed pictures and information, dog stories, dog photo galleries, puppy pix, puppy gallery, cute fun puppies! Free dog web pages, bio, stories and news."

but I'm not sure if FatBoy would approve.

Being a black Lab, my intro would be something like:

"I'm a 5 year old black bitch. Wanna party?"

Last night, I was in the backyard around midnight, and heard a sound in the bushes. Being the curious critter that I am, I went to investigate, and saw the oddest looking dog I've ever seen! The dog barked at me, but it sounded really weak (more like a hiss), so I picked it up and carried it to the back door, so that FatBoy would be proud of me:


Needless to say, my new friend was tired, and fell asleep. 

I was tired, too, so I went inside and slept in the air conditioning. But - the next morning, I noticed that my new friend had vanished! FatBoy seemed relieved, and mentioned something about "Playing Possum". That must be a new game he's going to teach me. I can hardly wait!!

Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy!

I never met Books, but I bet I would've liked him. Books was the Bookstore Dog at NerdBooks in Richardson. To hear FatBoy tell it, Books was a chocolate Lab(rador Retriever).

Apparently, Books the Dog died a few days ago. His owner, Dave, is mourning the loss, after bringing Books with him to work thousands of times, both in their California location and now in Richardson.

FatBoy gave me an extra hug today, and looked just a bit sad when he told me the news.

I wonder what happened to Alejandra? It's been more than a few weeks since she and her daughter, Maria, came here to clean the house. I used to love barking at the vacuum cleaner! Maybe they voluntarily went back across the Rio Grande, to live Happily Ever After?

Meanwhile, I was surfing the `net while FatBoy was away, and wandered across this: Baby Names - Beta. Does this mean that I'm Greek? I thought I was Canadian (Labrador)??

okay, exactly who is this "Dino" person that I'm supposedly so much alike?

every once in awhile (daily) I hear a vicious human outside, armed with an Uzi or a baseball bat, and I awake from my slumber in order to chase off this Evil Doer. this necessitates running at high speed from one end of the house to another, often running into/through one of the small dogs (with the long tails) or sometimes FatBoy.

FatBoy then says "Dino!!!" and starts laughing. I don't get the joke. And, being a canine, I'm incapable of laughter.

So stop it with the Dino references, okay?

I wish FatBoy would make up his mind. Thankfully, he gives me the same brand of food all the time - Beneful Healthy Radiance formula. I don't like change. I'm a dog, in case he didn't notice. We dogs like routine.

What annoys me (and maybe he'll read my blog, since he obviously doesn't understand my spoken word) is that he gets different kinds of treats. Most of the time, he comes home with those heart-shaped treats from Petsmart - vegetable or shark flavor. Don't get me wrong - they're crunchy and tasty - but then the next day he'll give me one of those all-natural peanut butter treats from Whole Foods Market. Don't get me wrong - they're crunchy and tasty - but then the next day he'll give me those heart-shaped treats from Petsmart - vegetable or shark flavor.

Don't get me wrong - they're crunchy and tasty - but then the next day he'll give me one of those all-natural peanut butter treats from Whole Foods Market. Don't get me wrong - they're crunchy and tasty - but then the next day he'll give me those heart-shaped treats from Petsmart - vegetable or shark flavor. Don't get me wrong - they're crunchy and tasty - but then the next day he'll give me one of those all-natural peanut butter treats from Whole Foods Market.

Oops .. here he comes .. gotta go! More later on this Very Important Subject.

What a cool new toy! FatBoy came home with a new toy today - I'll call it RedDot. The Fat Cat knew immediately what to do. She showed me how to sit in wait, until RedDot appeared on the carpet. Then, the chase was ON.

Of course, I wanted to get in on the action, too, but sometimes RedDot went under the clocktail table and FatCat could get to it easily .. it was harder for me, but I did learn how to dive underneath and come out the other side. Sometimes, FatCat tried to monopolize RedDot (which only seems to come out when FatBoy is in the room .. I'm not sure why).

update: turns out RedDot is really called a Laser Pointer (I found the discarded box it came in). It apparently runs on 2 AA batteries. I wonder if they taste good?

Honestly, I don't know what the excitement was about. It seems that FatBoy left town for a 2-day trip to Californica, and he asked The Two Nice People to check on the small dogs (with the long tails) and I.

Early the next morning, The Nice Lady came by and played with us, and then The Nice Man visited us in the afternoon. And then I got to watch TV and catch up on my sleep. When FatBoy returned (sometime after midnight last night), The Nice Man was with him, who seemed happy to have his car back. Something must've been going on, but for the life of me, I can't figure it out.

I've been eating Beneful for a couple years, but not because I have much of a choice. FatBoy has never taken me to the grocery store, but I've heard that he could take me to Petsmart.

I've never been much of a socialite; I prefer spending time around small dogs (with long tails) or humans. Most other dogs I've met just want to sniff my butt, although I'm not sure I understand why. I read on a website that I can know another dog's health by butt-sniffing, but there just has to be a better way.

The FatBoy returned! He gave me some cold French fries, which he says he got as part of a combo meal at a Burger King somewhere in east Texas. I scarfed `em down anyway.

The people who watched me while FatBoy was away were very nice, but I'll rest easier tonight, now that things are back to normal.

Some strangers have come here, twice a day, for the past few days. They've been changing my water and feeding me and the short dogs (with the long tails). And there's a guy in a uniform who opens the gates and checks the doors several times a day.

All this is interrupting my routine. I wonder what happened to FatBoy?

I'm not sure what happened, but FatBoy left this morning, not long after he got an early phone call. He said I could play on the Internet for the next week.

Did I ever mention my microchip? I can't feel it, but it's good to know it's there.

A couple years ago, FatBoy paid a vet to inject this thing under my skin .. around my shoulderblade. It's about the size of a rice kernel, and can be read by special scanners that most vets, and all animal shelters have. That way, if I'm ever lost and separated from my collar, they'll still know who I am.

It rained last night and this morning, and the backyard is still soaked. A couple times, FatBoy let me out to do #1 and #2 but I've never liked Going Potty when the ground is wet.

So, about 10:30pm I finally felt it was dry enough (well, okay .. it was dark and I couldn't tell one way or another) so .. out I went. Yuck. Now I have wet leaves and mud stuck between my pads. When I came inside, FatBoy tried to wipe most of the mud-leaf mix onto the rug by the door, but he didn't get it all.

Then, he made me sit in the kitchen for an hour or so while it dried! Now, when I snuck back to the office to update My Blog, I didn't track anything on the carpet. Where's the fun in that??

I went for a short ride in FatBoy's car today. Then, the nice man at the vet squirted liquid up my nose (I think the called it Bordatella, or Portobella, or something like that). He also put a camera down my ears, checked out my pretty teeth, and made sure all my bones were where they belonged.

With that much excitement, I came home and napped all afternoon. Wouldn't you be worn out if someone poked and prodded you that way?

Oops .. gotta go .. I can hear FatBoy coming down the hal